karavoli

Hey beautiful soul

I promised to write after my birthday party and here we are. I had a beautiful and very fun birthday two weeks ago. My birthday party was “glitter” themed and I was looking forward to wearing a pink dress that matches the pink glitter décor. Unfortunately, every dress I have tried on was too small or the fabric didn’t feel right on my skin. I decided to give in and just wear a comfortable blue dress that my sister gave me. It fit perfectly and I felt comfortable in it. Amazing, right? I was happy, but deep down there was a very familiar voice telling me that I’ve failed. And let me tell you why:

The months leading up to my birthday I had a plan. A plan that included losing at least 5 kilograms before celebrating this milestone.

Did I try? Yes.

Did I succeed? No.

Am I disappointed: Very much so.

But I don’t want to allow negative thoughts about my body and my weight to overshadow the beautiful memories I created on my birthday. Because when I look back at that day, I don’t want to remember the number on a scale. I want to remember the laughter, the dancing, being surrounded by people who love and care about me.

That’s why today I want to talk about something I know many women can relate to: our relationship with our bodies. I want to explore why we often connect our appearance to our identity and why we believe so strongly that changing our bodies will make us feel enough. (We already are enough, just by existing. Period).

Before I continue, I want to make something clear: this is not about ignoring your health or pretending that you never want to change anything about yourself. It’s okay to have certain goals and wish to feel more comfortable in your body.

Body image: where does this belief come from?

Can you remember the first time you became aware of your body and what it looked like? For many of us, this awareness starts much earlier than we realize. Thanks to movies, media, advertisement and now social media we repeatedly see the same narrow idea of what is considered beautiful. The same body type, the same beauty standards and the same message: that there is only one way to look.

We tell ourselves that to feel beautiful and worthy we need to change our appearance. “When I finally weigh *insert dream number here* then I’ll be happy. I’m sure thoughts like these sound very familiar to you.

Why do we think our looks define our worth?

Little girls and women are often praised for how they look instead of who they are. Don’t believe me? Think about it. Many of us grew up hearing things like this:

“You are so cute”.

“You are so pretty”.

“That outfit looks good on you”.

These are good compliments and there is nothing wrong with them. It only becomes problematic when our appearance becomes the thing we receive most attention for, when it’s only a small part of who we are. I urge you to separate your worth from your appearance because our bodies are constantly changing and will always change. If you attach your worth to something that is always changing you will never feel happy. You’ll just be exhausted.

A beautiful face doesn’t show your kindness, and a cute outfit can’t show your sense of humor, your resilience and the love you give to others.

Listen to your body

Stop treating your body like your enemy. We are going back to basics here. Your body is sending you signals every single day. These signals are not here to ignore or fight against. Your body is taking care of you. And you should take care of it in return. Here’s how:

You feel hungry? Eat.

Your back hurts because you were sitting too long? Move.

You feel tired? Put your phone away, close your eyes and REST.

When you start to listen to your body more you start treating it with respect. As you should. Because it does so.much.for.you!

Focus on Function

I read this book by Florence Given called “Women don’t owe you pretty”, and one sentence stuck with me ever since. She wrote: Your body is an instrument. Not an ornament. And wow, I had to pause and think about it for a second. Because it’s true.

We spend so much time thinking about what our bodies look like that we forget to appreciate what they allow us to do.

Your legs that you criticize in pictures or in the mirror? They carry you.
Your arms that you hide under long-sleeved T-shirts? They let you hug the people you love.
The stomach you suck in most of the time? It houses some of your most important organs.

Ask yourself: what does my body allow me to experience? I mean, your body carries you through life, how amazing is that?

And I also want to remember that this can be very different when you are disabled, chronically ill, or sick. You might not always be able to trust your body, and you might not feel grateful for what it can or cannot do. But you can still listen to it, care for it, and be kind to it. Sometimes, hope can simply mean believing that your body deserves care, even on the days when it feels like it is working against you.

You are unique

There is no one like you. Never has. Never will be.

We all have different bodies and that is okay. You don’t have to spend your lifetime improving your body and trying to look like someone else. You were never meant to be someone else. Just be you and explore everything that you love.

At the end of the day, I want you to remember: your body is just a part of who you are. You are your personality, your dreams, your thoughts and the way you make other people feel. Go and wear the shorts and enjoy your summer!

Thank you for being here. And remember:

You’re doing good

I’m proud of you

You’ve got this

❤